Please read the following important legal information before accessing or using this web site. The use of this web site constitutes an agreement to abide by the terms and conditions below, just as if you had signed this Agreement.
Loggernaut Reading Series may revise this Agreement from time to time by updating this posting.
A. The Service. Loggernaut.org (the "Service")
is an online information, products and communications service provided
by Loggernaut Reading Series ("Loggernaut Reading Series").
B. Certain Requirements of User. You must: (1) provide all equipment,
including a computer and modem, plus electricity, and metal, necessary to establish a connection to the Web; and (2)
provide for your own connection to the Web and pay any telephone service fees, cable fees, wireless fees, or any other fees associated with such connection.
C. User Conduct; Right to Terminate Access to the Service. You are solely responsible for the content of your communications with other
users of the Service. Your use of the Service is subject to all applicable local, state, national and international laws and regulations. Loggernaut Reading Series retains the right, at Loggernaut Reading Series's sole discretion, to determine whether or not your conduct is consistent with this Agreement and Loggernaut Reading Series's operating rules or policies and may terminate your access to and use of the Service if your conduct is found to be inconsistent with this Agreement, such rules or policies. You acknowledge and agree that Loggernaut Reading Series neither endorses the content of any of its users' communications nor assumes responsibility for any threatening, libelous, obscene, harassing, offensive, judgmental, frivolous, pompous, dismissive, obscure, twee, totally played out, flamboyant, or persnickety material contained therein, any infringement of third party intellectual property rights arising therefrom or any crime facilitated thereby. Without limitation, Loggernaut Reading Series reserves the right to terminate your access to and use of the Service.
You understand that we reserve the right to conclude that your conduct is unsuitable in
accordance with our standards, and we may come to such a conclusion even if it is based upon our opinion or mere suspicion or belief, without any duty to prove that our opinion or suspicion is well-founded and even if our opinion or suspicion is proven not
to be well-founded or if we allow other users access to the Service despite their communications having the same or similar characteristics as yours. You also understand that by providing any user access to and use of the Service, Loggernaut Reading Series in no way
endorses user communications as being suitable under the terms of this Agreement.
D. Disclaimer of Warranties; Limitation of Liability. Loggernaut Reading Series does not
guarantee that files available for viewing or downloading through the Service will be free of contaminating or damaging code such as viruses, trap doors and the like. Loggernaut Reading Series does not endorse content, nor warrant the accuracy, completeness, correctness, timeliness or
usefulness of any opinions, advice, content, services, or merchandise provided through the
Service or on the Internet generally. Any details as to products, including product descriptions, benefits, quality and performance are provided by the supplier or
manufacturer of the product and are reproduced for the convenience of our users. This
information is not verified or substantiated by Loggernaut Reading Series and Loggernaut Reading Series is not responsible for any inaccuracies or omissions.
YOU AGREE THAT USE OF THE SERVICE IS ENTIRELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. THE WEBSITE AND PRODUCTS AND SERVICES PROVIDED THROUGH OR IN CONNECTION WITH IT, ARE PROVIDED "AS IS,"WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND. Loggernaut Reading Series EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION: 1) ANY WARRANTIES CONCERNING THE AVAILABILITY, ACCURACY OR CONTENT OF INFORMATION, PRODUCTS OR SERVICES; AND 2) ANY WARRANTIES OF TITLE OR WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. Loggernaut Reading Series MAKES NO WARRANTY THAT THE SERVICE WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS, OR THAT THE SERVICE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, TIMELY, SECURE, OR ERROR FREE; NOR DOES loggernaut.org MAKE ANY WARRANTY AS TO THE RESULTS THAT MAY BE OBTAINED FROM THE USE OF THE SERVICE OR AS TO THE ACCURACY OR RELIABILITY OF ANY INFORMATION OBTAINED THROUGH THE SERVICE. YOU UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT ANY MATERIAL AND/OR DATA DOWNLOADED OR OTHERWISE OBTAINED THROUGH THE USE OF THE SERVICE IS DONE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION AND RISK AND THAT YOU WILL BE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE TO YOUR COMPUTER SYSTEM OR LOSS OF DATA THAT RESULTS FROM THE DOWNLOAD OF SUCH MATERIAL AND/OR DATA. YOU ACCEPT AND EVEN BEGRUDGINGLY ADMIRE OUR USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS TO DENOTE IMPORTANCE IN A LEGAL DOCUMENT. YOU SPECIFICALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT Loggernaut Reading Series IS NOT LIABLE FOR ANY DEFAMATORY, OFFENSIVE OR ILLEGAL CONDUCT OF OTHER USERS OR THIRD PARTIES AND THAT THE RISK OF INJURY FROM THE FOREGOING RESTS ENTIRELY WITH YOU. Loggernaut Reading Series MAKES NO WARRANTY REGARDING ANY GOODS OR SERVICES PURCHASED OR OBTAINED THROUGH THE SERVICE OR ANY TRANSACTIONS ENTERED INTO THROUGH THE SERVICE. NO ADVICE OR INFORMATION, WHETHER ORAL OR WRITTEN, OBTAINED BY YOU FROM Loggernaut Reading Series OR THROUGH THE SERVICE SHALL CREATE ANY WARRANTY NOT EXPRESSLY MADE HEREIN. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OF CERTAIN WARRANTIES, SO SOME OF THE ABOVE EXCLUSIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
NEITHER Loggernaut Reading Series NOR ANY OF ITS PARTNERS, AGENTS, AFFILIATES OR CONTENT PROVIDERS SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES ARISING OUT
OF USE OF THE SERVICE OR INABILITY TO GAIN ACCESS TO OR USE THE SERVICE OR OUT OF ANY BREACH OF ANY WARRANTY.
E. Indemnification. You agree to indemnify and hold Loggernaut Reading Series, its partners, agents, minions, lackeys, affiliates and content partners harmless from any dispute which may arise from a breach of terms of this Agreement. You agree to hold Loggernaut Reading Series harmless from any claims and expenses, including reasonable attorney's fees and court costs, related to your violation of this Agreement.
F. Ownership Rights. The materials provided on the Service
may be downloaded or reprinted for personal use only. You acknowledge
that the Service contains information, software, photos, video, graphics,
music, sounds, blips, beeps, knocks, whirs, pregnant pauses, or other material (collectively, "Content")
that are protected by copyrights, trademarks, trade secrets or other
proprietary rights, and that these rights are valid and protected in
all forms, media and technologies existing now or hereafter developed.
All Content is copyrighted as a collective work under the U.S. copyright
laws, and Loggernaut Reading Series owns a copyright in the selection, coordination,
arrangement and enhancement of such Content. You may not modify, publish,
transmit, participate in the transfer or sale, create derivative works,
or in any way exploit, any of the Content, in whole or in part. You
may not upload, post, reproduce or distribute Content protected by copyright,
or other proprietary right, without obtaining permission of the owner
of the copyright or ot her proprietary right. Loggernaut Reading Series, loggernaut.org
and its logos are trademarks of Loggernaut Reading Series. Other products, brands,
company names and the like are trademarks of their respective owners.
G. No Copying or Distribution. You may not reproduce, copy or redistribute
the design or layout of this web site, individual elements of the web
site design, Loggernaut Reading Series logos or other logos appearing on this web site,
without the express written permission of Loggernaut Reading Series. Reproduction, copying or redistribution for commercial purposes of any materials or design elements on the Loggernaut Reading Series web site is strictly prohibited without the express written permission of Loggernaut Reading Series, Inc. Images and descriptions of products may be supplied to us by third parties, who reserve all rights in those materials.
H. Vanity Fair. William Makepeace Thackeray wrote Vanity Fair. We join the novel in progress. It is Chapter 17, "How Captain Dobbin Bought a Piano."
...the rare and famous wines selected, regardless of cost, and with the well-known taste of the purchaser; the rich and complete set of family plate had been sold on the previous days. Certain of the best wines (which all had a great character among amateurs in the neighbourhood) had been purchased for his master, who knew them very well, by the butler of our friend John Osborne, Esquire, of Russell Square. A small portion of the most useful articles of the plate had been bought by some young stock-brokers from the City. And now the public being invited to the purchase of minor objects, it happened that the orator on the table was expatiating on the merits of a picture, which he sought to recommend to his audience: it was by no means so select or numerous a company as had attended the previous days of the auction.
"No. 369," roared Mr. Hammerdown. "Portrait of a gentleman on an elephant.
Who'll bid for the gentleman on the elephant? Lift up the picture, Blowman, and let the company examine this lot." A long, pale, military-looking gentleman, seated demurely at the mahogany table, could not help grinning as this valuable lot was shown by Mr. Blowman. "Turn the elephant to the Captain, Blowman. What shall we say, sir, for the elephant?" but the Captain, blushing in a very hurried and discomfited manner, turned away his head.
"Shall we say twenty guineas for this work of art?--fifteen, five, name your
own price. The gentleman without the elephant is worth five pound."
"I wonder it ain't come down with him," said a professional wag, "he's anyhow
a precious big one;" at which (for the elephant-rider was represented as of a
very stout figure) there was a general giggle in the room.
I. Governing Law. This web site is controlled by Loggernaut Reading Series from its offices in Portland, Oregon, United States of America. As this web site can be accessed from all fifty states and other countries around the world and each of these places has laws that may differ from those of Oregon, by accessing this web site both you and Loggernaut Reading Series agree that the statutes and laws of the State of Oregon, without regard to the conflicts of laws principles thereof, will apply to all matters relating to use of this web site. Loggernaut Reading Series makes no representation that materials on this web site are appropriate or available for use in other locations, and accessing them from territories where its contents are illegal is prohibited. Those who choose to access this site from other locations do so on their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with applicable laws.
J. Unintelligibility, Obtuseness, and Irrelevance. Should any portion of these Terms and Conditions be deemed unintelligible, obtuse, irrelevant, or, for that matter, thematically inconsistent by the appropriate court of law, all remaining portions not so deemed will remain in effect and highly trenchant.
K. Court Jester. A relevant scene from The Court Jester, 1956, starring Danny Kaye, Glynis Johns, Basil Rathbone, and Angela Lansbury; written and directed by Melvin Frank and Norman Panama.
King Roderick: Approach, Sir Griswold. [whispers] Lighten the mood, Jester, a note of cheer...
Sir Griswold: My liege lord.
King Roderick: Sir Griswold of Mackalwane, I bid thee welcome.
Jester: [sings] Ehh, welcome, Sir Griswold, your beard is full of hair, but do I say welcome or do I say mehhhh! [bleats like a goat or sheep]
Sir Griswold: Sire. My emissary did report, and I proudly accept your terms.
Jester: [kicked by the king, sings] Eh... th-the terms! The terms! He doth accept the terms. He looks not smart, but in...[kicked by the king].
King Roderick: Excellent, excellent! Members of the court, know you that the crown would make a most felicitous announcement concerning the defense and security of our great kingdom, I would have you know that today was an alliance consummated between the crown and our honored and valiant Baron, Sir Griswold of Mackalwane.
Jester: [kicked by the king, sings] The terms! The terms!
King Roderick: We've already had the terms.
If you have any questions about this statement of Terms and Conditions, the practices of this site, or your dealings with this Web site,
please email us at log at loggernaut dot org.